Things in our relationships don’t always go as we would wish them to and interpersonal issues can arise in our dealings with others whether they are our family and loved ones, colleagues or even complete strangers. Conflict arises in all relationships, the important thing is how it is addressed and resolved. Even if you believe that the problem lies with the other person or persons, therapy can help you to learn what you as an individual can do in order to improve how you get along with or think about others. This can include thinking about your own ways of thinking and how you behave or react. Many couples can benefit from learning more effective ways to communicate or to address conflict when it arises.
For several years I have worked alongside my private practice as a relationship therapist for Tavistock Relationships (a leading UK relationship therapy organisation), working on projects to help parents and coparents with parental conflict, and to support individuals and couples with any type of relationship concern.
I have trained in various types of relationship therapy approaches, including Mentalisation Based Therapy and Solution Focused therapy, which can help to address relationship problems quickly at effectively, whilst also equipping partners with skills and tools to help minimise conflict going forwards. This type of therapy can be offered to individuals, couples or family groups.
Relationship matters case study – female late 30s:
This client was struggling in her relationship with her long-term partner. She felt that his expectations of her were too demanding and that she could never satisfy his needs; she felt “not good enough” and that one day he would give up on her. It was make or break time for her as she either wanted to commit to staying with him and starting a family or leave the relationship. When she first came to see me, she said that she felt that he was the one who needed to change in order for things to improve, which is a common position that people present with. We worked together to identify the main issues and together we explored how her own thinking and the way she reacted played a part in maintaining the problems. She began to understand what she could do in order to start to make things better. Gradually she was able to realise that her own thought patterns and beliefs were responsible for much of the way she was feeling and how she behaved and with time she was able to try out different ways of being in her relationship. As a result, things improved significantly and she was much happier to stay in the relationship and to start a family.